Writing a Unique Eulogy

Learn the Meaning of Eulogy

A eulogy is one of the main parts of a funeral or memorial service. This important speech is meant to honor a loved one as you capture and share a lifetime of memories. If you’ve been asked to give a eulogy, it’s natural to feel a mix of emotions.

If you’ve never done it before, writing a eulogy may seem daunting or intimidating. Don’t fret though, in this post we’ll show you how to write a eulogy in a few simple steps.

But before we show you how to start writing a eulogy, let’s answer common questions we frequently receive.

How Long Should a Eulogy Be?

Think about the worst speech you’ve listened to. Was it lengthy? Did it seem never ending? As a rule of thumb, it’s better to keep a eulogy or any speech for that matter, clear and concise. When a speech runs long, you risk losing the audience’s attention. Not only that, but some people can get emotional when delivering the eulogy. The longer it is, the harder it may become to deliver it.

We recommend that you keep the eulogy to around 5 minutes (10 at most). Start by focusing on a few key points about the person and then start discussing what they meant to you and others.

How to Write a Eulogy?

Before you start to write a eulogy, it’s best to gather all the important information you wish to convey. This should include special memories you wish to discuss and any biographical information you need like important dates and places. If you need help gathering this information, make sure to reach out to family and friends for help.

Once you’ve got everything you need, it’s time to start writing. To start a eulogy, try to keep all of your information and stories in chronological order. Remember, you’re trying to capture a lifetime so start by sharing stories of the deceased’s life. Next, discuss what they meant to you and others. Finally, conclude the eulogy by saying goodbye.

How to Add Humor to A Eulogy?

A funeral or memorial service doesn’t always have to be about sadness or loss. Using humor can be a great way to help lighten the mood. Especially if the person who has passed away was known to have a great sense of humor.

To add humor to a eulogy, share a story that everyone can relate to and enjoy. Talk about who a person really was, while making sure not to come off as disrespectful. Adding humor to a eulogy may seem difficult, but when done right, it can make the eulogy much more meaningful and memorable.

How to Write a Eulogy In 5 Easy Steps

A famous poem by Linda Ellis called “The Dash” really captures what a eulogy is all about. In the poem, the narrator makes note of the dates written on a grave marker. The first date represents the day you were born. The second date represents the day you died. But the dash in the middle represents how you lived.

In the poem, the big message being discussed is how everyone knows the dates listed, but only the people whose lives the deceased touch know what the dash represents. That’s where the eulogy comes in. As you deliver it, it is your duty to highlight everything that occurred in that dash.

1. Brainstorm Ideas and Gather Information

To start a eulogy, begin by taking some time to brainstorm what you want to say. Make sure to speak with other family members and friends of the deceased to gain insights and stories you might not know. The more information you can gather the better. You don’t need to use all of it, but having as much information as you can will allow you to craft a eulogy that is all encompassing of the deceased’s life and achievements.

Some of the biographical information you should consider gathering includes: date and place of birth, names of relatives, marriage date, career achievements.

2. Write an Introduction

When writing a eulogy, start by addressing why everyone has gathered together – to say goodbye and celebrate a life well lived. After acknowledging why everyone has gathered, make sure to introduce yourself and explain how you knew the deceased. Finally, conclude the introduction by thanking everyone for coming.

Your introduction doesn’t need to be long and drawn out. Keep it quick so that you can get into the main part of the eulogy and pay tribute to your loved one.

Here is a sample introduction to help get you started.

“Hello everyone. We are here today to celebrate the life of a great man, and remember him for everything he meant to each of us. For those of you who I haven’t had the chance to meet yet, my name is John Smith and I’ve been Doug’s best friend since we were 12 years old. I want to thank you all for joining us today. Both I and Doug’s family really appreciate you being here today for this celebration of life.”

3. Write A Brief Biography

After the introduction, provide guests with a short summary of the deceased’s life. This can include the deceased’s early years, their family, significant family events, and any other important details. Next it can mention any other friends or family members the deceased was close to. Finally, you can talk about the deceased’s spouse, children, and grandchildren.

“Doug was born on April 12, 1954 just outside Albany, New York. He was the oldest of 3 children, and brother to David and Rusty. His parent’s Doug Sr. and MaryAnn owned a small grocery store in town.

Growing up, Doug was quite close with his cousin Steve. A day didn’t go by in the summer that the pair of them didn’t wake up early every morning, grab their fishing gear, and head to the creek. That was, until the drought of ’68 when the creek dried up and the pair decided to spend their early mornings waking up the neighborhood by riding their dirt bikes up and down the street.

In college, Doug met the love of his life, Linda. After just a couple years of dating, the pair were wed at Linda’s family home in Virginia. I still cringe when I think about all the bourbon Doug and I drank with Linda’s father that night. Together, the couple raised three smart and beautiful daughters who are here today, Stacey, Rachel, and Alexandra”.

4. Share Special Life Moments, Memories, And Qualities

In this section of the eulogy, start to talk about special memories the deceased shared with others. This is also when you should acknowledge achievements, talents, hobbies, and passions. Conclude this part of the eulogy by discussing the qualities that made the deceased special (funny, kind hearted, out-going)

“Doug always loved working on vehicles and spending time in the garage. He would always be trying to show me the latest modification he had made to his truck. I think that’s why we were such great friends. I always drove cars that were breaking down and that meant he always had a project to work on. Even with his love of cars, Doug had a long and successful career as a barber.

What many people don’t know about Doug was he always offered haircuts to the homeless and less privileged for nothing but a smile. He was caring, generous, and believed in doing his part to help others. The world really could use more people like Doug.

As kind-hearted as he was, he was never afraid to step up and defend others. I can’t tell you how many black eyes he had growing up because of some scuffle he had got into with a neighborhood bully. That’s actually how he got the nickname spot.”

5. Conclude the Eulogy with Some Comforting Words

To end the eulogy, offer some words of comfort and say a final goodbye. This is often when the person delivering the eulogy will discuss what the deceased meant to them.

“Doug taught me many things over the years. How to fix an engine, how to BBQ a brisket. But most importantly, he taught me how to be a good friend. It didn’t matter what it was, Doug would always drop what he was doing if someone asked for his help. He was a great man, a loving husband, and a dedicated father. I think I speak for everyone here when I say we were lucky to know Doug and he’ll be greatly missed by everyone he touched.”

Need Help? Talk To Our Funeral Directors

If you have any questions about writing a eulogy or need assistance, don’t hesitate to reach out and ask. We would be happy to assist you with honoring your loved one. From the first call, until long after the service has ended, our team will be here to offer support and guidance.

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